Thursday, December 1, 2011
December 1st is here again. Finals approaching, Squish-mittens birthday is almost here again, I'm out of money, need a new car, and the only thing that keeps me up at night is man troubles. I'm divorced now so you'd think he'd have gotten the message that I am officially out. Besides the fact that I tell him that blatantly every time he asks if there is still a chance for us. I've moved on, plain and simple. If the man of my dreams walked up to me today and asked if I wanted to get married I'd have to say give me a year or two and we can see then. Not that I wouldn't take a relationship, I'm just content being single. That doesn't mean however that I don't want guy friends to hang out with, do stuff, talk on the phone with, watch movies, party, and just generally to be a part of my life. That's the one thing I miss. So the month will continue on, there are birthday plans to make, a weekend of pure party ecstasy to enjoy, final Christmas presents to wrap and give. I love this time of year and dread it with my whole being at the same time. All of my blog posts come down to one thing...
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Not much of consequence happened this summer. I got black out drunk for the first time in my life, made out with a few guys, went on many long bike rides, and spent a lot of time basking in the sunshine at the swimming pool. I enjoyed this summer the most of any summer since I was a kid. It felt real and great and I did things just for myself. One of the best things I did was buy a new bike. No big deal for the average person, but for me it was a big accomplishment, to spend almost $100 just on me that was nonessential and just for fun was a treat. Now that I'm back at school and reality has crept back, there are only a few things that I wish had gone differently. I shouldn't have let you back in. It felt amazing and was what I wanted in the moment but I know better and I know you better than that. When making decisions it is possibly the most difficult thing to make the one with the adequate amount of foresight to not smash your face into the same brick wall time after time. You have become my brick wall. Thanks for being there if only momentarily. One day maybe some of this will make sense but until then, I'll just wonder what the frickety-frick-frack all of this was supposed to mean,